Written by Alexis Rosenbaum
Wife to Danny Rosenbaum
Creator of Baseball Lacelets 
Follow her on Twitter @lexrosenbaum 

I am Alexis Rosenbaum, wife of Tommy John survivor Boston Red Sox Jewish left hander Danny Rosenbaum. Yes, I am a Shiksa. I created and co-own Baseball Lacelet with my sister, Hannah. Lacelets are customized leather bracelets made from the lacing in baseball gloves. I approach life with an immense amount of intensity and stick to what is simple and organized. I’m a firm believer in process and routine and am hungry for work, thriving when there is a need for hustle.

I met Danny the senior year of high school after both had committed to play college sports. We are from the AIM generation; he sent me a congratulatory message. Three months into our relationship I told him we would get married, my intense crazy soul just connected with his calm and collected demeanor. 9 years later, nearing 3 years of marriage, we are still crazy for each other, kidless, and chasing our individual dreams.

We married in 2012 spending the first six years of our relationship long distance dating through college and living together during two pro-ball seasons while I finished up college. There is a huge misconception about being a professional athlete; all the public sees is the highlight reel. Danny was making MiLB minimum wage, living in strangers basements, and working extremely long days at the ballpark. We had one car and barely any money which left me with little to do and a ton of free time; not good for a person of routine.

The second biggest misconception is about professional athletes wives. There is a lot of highlight reel activity that happens even with wives; not all of us are living on a large paycheck, jet-setting around the world, dousing ourselves in expensive items. Most of us have careers, families at home we tend to, and lives outside of our husband’s careers.

Living on the road with Danny was really rough. I felt completely useless and lost with out any sort of career direction. In 2011 we decided it was best I stayed home. I remember sitting on the bed in the basement of our host families home crying to Danny. I will never forget what he said to me - “You are trying so hard to be happy here with me because you know it’s for the good of us, but you are not happy for yourself.” I went home, moved us into a rental home, and landed a full time job. This year marks our 9th year of long distance, but I am thrilled to say we have made a joint decision for me to travel all of July while also running Baseball Lacelets.

Regularly people ask me how I do it and how we make it work. I won’t say it has been easy or that long distance marriage is anything short exhausting, but I will say it has been the most rewarding experience of my life.

What does a successful long distance marriage take? The 3 C’s are our keys to making a long distance marriage work.

1. Communication
Text messaging is easy and so are phone calls, but communication needs to be taken to the next level. Long distance marriages should strive for a level of communication where both parties are on the same page with marriage goals, individual goals, and boundaries set for each other. Every pre-season we discuss goals, plans, and expectations of each other to help alleviate either of us feeling left behind or left out.

2. Compromise
It is important to not sacrifice for a spouse, but to compromise. Sacrifice can lead to resentment while compromise leads to a relationship where both parties benefit. I started seeing a psychologist who proposed a life with out sacrifice when I regularly made comments that were resentful towards Danny. Check in with your spouse by making a list of benefits and disadvantages regarding upcoming decisions.

3. Combined Effort
Combined effort means working as a team. Marriage is a lifetime experience meant to be spent with someone who is your teammate and partner. We feel most connected and stable when we are both working together for the betterment of “us”. Routinely Danny and I make sure we are supporting both of our individual and group goals. Knowing we are working together empowers us to strive, try harder, and dream bigger.

The 3 C’s all go hand in hand. With good communication comes an understanding of compromise versus sacrifice leading to a combined effort for a happy, fulfilling, and successful marriage.

Make sure to check out Alexis' company at baseballlacelet.com where you can find great gifts for yourself and others.  

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